How To Finally Grow Some Presidential Sized Balls
by BreathtakinglyMundane
Summary: Fitz finally puts his big boy pants on and makes a final decision which he hopefully won't regret. Mellitz (Can't promise a happy ending though)
1. Chapter 1

**_AN: Nope I don't own these wonderful characters. The following is purely me borrowing them for a while. Jessica Pearson makes a guest appearance. _**

_Just how long was long enough to stay with your wife after you found out your father raped her, lost your son and she saved you from your attempted suicide? Was there actually such a time? _These were the thoughts running through Fitz's mind almost six months after Jerry's death.

It was happening again. Olivia was back on his radar and he was falling ever deeper, being sucked in by the quicksand that was her love. The more he fought the feelings within him, the stronger they seemed to become.

He didn't know what to do. He was consumed by such an acute sense of inadequacy, of helplessness when it came to all that had been revealed about his family. He knew he was hurting Mellie and she really didn't deserve it especially considering all they'd been through. He was only human though.

He was tired.

Tired of being miserable. Tired of having to pretend he loved his wife. Tired of wanting a woman who was within his reach and yet so, _so_ far away. Tired of imagining how great their life together could be; in Vermont but also anywhere really.

He needed to do something. He was the President for heaven's sake.

He was going to leave his wife… and it was going to work. Olivia's plan echoed in his mind but he didn't have the patience for something as elaborate.

He was going to have Olivia and he would have her now.

It was two weeks later and Fitz was pleased with how well his plan was going though retrospectively that should have been his first sign; things that came easily rarely ended well.

Mellie had just looked at him when he told her what he wanted and had immediately started plans to move into Blair House.

Fitz was determined but not stupid. He couldn't very well divorce his wife on the national stage. He wasn't too selfish to realise that divorcing his wife while he was still President of the United States would affect more people than just her and him. He had to think of their children, Olivia too.

She had taken Teddy with her. He wasn't happy about it but he hadn't wanted to antagonise her any further than he already surely was.

He couldn't help the niggling doubt in the back of his mind that her willingness to go along with his plan was because Andrew had wormed his way back into her pants. The idea stirred such deep feelings in him but he was much too excited about Olivia to analyse them.

"Olivia," he breathed into the phone when she finally picked up after what seemed like an eternity but was in reality more likely to be just a few moments.

"Fitz," she replied in a breathless voice.

"Come to the White House, there's something I need to show you," he said.

"Fitz, I'm not sure… I'm not sure that would be a good idea," her voice conveying her hesitancy. He thought she was probably remembering her last encounter with Mellie that she'd let slip during one of their increasingly numerous late night phone conversations.

It was Friday, the perfect day, he thought, to show Olivia exactly how determined he was to be with her. He had removed every possible trace of Mellie from the Residence.

Olivia had been completely taken aback by his revelation. They had fallen into each others arms as usual and he had asked her to move in with him. She had snort laughed and then said,

"Fitz that is just… you're the President we can't just," she replied as she looked him in the eye.

"I am the President and it's time I started getting exactly what I want… and what I want is you. Every morning, every night, in my bed," he said as he stroked a hand down her cheek, "by my side."

He held her gaze then captured her lips with his. Just as the kiss deepened and they were about to lose all control, he pulled back, searching her face and asked her, "so is that a yes?"

She flopped back on the bed and flung her arms across her face, letting him stew in the uncertainty until a muffled, "yes," escaped her. She let one arm drop and peeked at him loving the boyish grin on his handsome face.

"Jessica I need you to ensure he doesn't screw me over in this divorce. I just want my kids and what I rightfully deserve after almost 22 years by his side," Mellie said. She'd called Jessica knowing that as one of her oldest friends she would deal with this efficiently and most importantly discreetly.

"How much do you want to make it hurt?" Jessica asked and studied her friend who just happened to be the First Lady of the United States.

"I'm done Jessica, I just want out as easily as possible. The only thing I won't budge on is custody of Teddy and Karen. I really just need to start fresh," she said.

Jessica searched Mellie's face and was taken aback by the pain that clouded her blue orbs. "Are you sure you don't want me to take him for everything he's worth? Cause you know I god damned will," she pressed.

"Jessica," she began with a sigh as she settled deeper into the plush sofa in the living room of Jessica's Maryland house.

"I want what's mine," she looked out the big bay windows that overlooked the beautiful estate and the amazing forest that was towards the edge of it with her chin in her hand, "but that's all. I won't fight for anything more."

"Okay," she agreed reluctantly. "You know how much I want to make him bleed though," Jessica confessed as she thought about Fitz's treatment of the wife and her _friend_ he'd sworn to never hurt. He'd ended up treating Mellie just as badly as she'd thought but this was unfortunately one of the times she was **not** happy about being right. She sighed and reigned her rage back in, _now is not the time_ she thought to herself.

Mellie managed to chuckle at the thunderous look on her friend's face.

"I do know. You did warn him all those years ago… he may have forgotten but I surely haven't," she said as she remembered Jessica's very specific warning to Fitz when they'd become engaged.

Jessica Pearson had always been a force to reckon with; even when she was young and hadn't yet been at the helm of one of the best law firms in the country.

"Mommy!" Teddy came running in and climbed onto Mellie's lap, "look what I found." He placed a beautifully coloured egg in her hand as she wrapped an arm around him to draw him closer.

"It's beautiful Teddy, where did you get it?" she inquired knowing he'd been just out back, not wanting to sit still inside with her as she talked to Aunt Jessie as he fondly referred to Jessica.

"It was in a bunch of sticks," he said as he wrung his hands together with a sheepish look on his face.

"Teddy," she said, her tone questioning. "An egg is a bird's baby; imagine if the bird came back and found their baby missing don't you think it would be so sad?"

"Yes," he mumbled with his head bowed.

She kissed his forehead and hugged him close. "Okay let's go find those sticks before the bird feels sad."

Teddy scrambled off her lap and grabbed her hand, going to get Jessica too. The two women exchanged amused looks at the display. He dropped their hands when they got out to the patio.

"This was exactly what he needed, what we both needed… thanks Jess." She smiled warmly at Jessica who bumped her shoulder with hers and wrapped an arm around her shoulder after. She was beginning to feel trapped in Blair House. The press had been sniffing around for a while. They probably thought she was going to give another expose on her husband's philandering ways so she stayed inside so they wouldn't have pictures to accompany their headlines.

"It just would not do for you to be seen entering Pearson-Specter and neither would Jessica Pearson at Blair House not add more fuel to the fire surrounding your departure from the White House," Jessica replied. "A visit to an old friend, in remote Maryland definitely isn't a problem though."

"Of course Olivia is handling it, I'm sure the media will lose interest soon." Mellie could only hope they did but there was a feeling of dread in the pit of stomach that told her otherwise.

On top of that she had her own secrets that she didn't need the nosy media unearthing…


	2. Plans and Problems

**_AN: Still don't own these intriguing characters. Thank you for the reviews. All the mistakes are mine. _**

****The name of the caller on her personal cell made Mellie roll her eyes. "Anna just please find out what he wants," she said, sliding the phone down the table to her aide. She was not in the mood to hear from Fitz.

Anna nodded and answered the phone. She had seen quite a few sides to the First Lady over the years and more so especially since the death of her son. She had never seen this side of her though; it's like she had erased The President from her memory, her indifference was almost terrifying in its intensity.

"Ma'am he wanted to know when Teddy was coming over on Saturday," she replied whilst returning the phone to her.

"Oh okay," Mellie replied. _He's probably wondering whether his son will interrupt his time with his mistress_ would probably be the thoughts running through the old Mellie's mind. Now all she did was send him a text stating the time she would send Teddy.

It was at that moment that the topic of their communication came into the room looking for Mellie.

"Mommy," he said as he walked up beside her and raised his hands for her to lift him onto her lap. He looked so adorable in his onesie that was decorated with trains. "I'm hungwy," he continued as he settled against her chest.

"Okay let's get your little tummy full," she said while gently rubbing his tummy. She motioned for the staff to bring his meal, he really loved porridge at the moment.

Teddy was taken up with her pearl necklace as he was wont to do. They seemed to fascinate him for some reason. When his food came he was immediately interested in eating again though.

He insisted on feeding himself, though a lot of it ended up on his face and clothes. He was content and happy though so Mellie couldn't bear to say no to him. Her failure with her older son was still too raw for her to take any sort of firmer stance with him.

"I miss dada," he said abruptly when he'd finished eating. She was jolted out of her thoughts and re-focused on him. "When aww we going back home?" he whined. He tended to like a good whine on a full stomach.

"Baby don't worry, you'll see dada really soon," she tried to comfort him as she rubbed her nose with his. He laughed and was distracted by it for a moment then returned with a question that tugged so strongly at her heartstrings.

"Dada no want me?" He asked with wide, innocent eyes shining with unshed tears and not for the first time Mellie considered whether what she was doing was indeed the right thing. She'd already ruined one child's life with no way to atone for it now; she couldn't help feeling like she was repeating the same mistake now, with Teddy.

He clearly missed his father. However his father was determined to take up with Olivia Pope and she didn't want that _situation _confusing her child. She just prayed that she was making the right choice.

"Mr President, I think_" Cyrus started after he had walked a few tentative steps into the oval.

"I don't want to hear how bad an idea this is anymore Cy, I just don't," Fitz said without even looking up from his papers.

"This isn't about that actually. We have a major problem Sir," the most serious look gracing his face.

"I know this isn't the point of you being here but I need your help," Fitz said to Olivia with a pleading look in his eyes.

"You know I'll help in any way that I can," Olivia said while cupping his face with her hands and touching her forehead to his.

"So apparently my wife and her lover boy were seen together," he told her with a barely concealed clench of his jaw. He still couldn't understand why Mellie's infidelity got so deep under his skin. It made him twice as annoyed because he was irritated that he was even affected in the first place. "There was something about them being in Minnesota which I can't figure out for the life of me."

"I can't believe they would be that reckless," Olivia said when he was done. "I'll look into it though, see if we there's any truth to the allegation, then we'll think damage control if need be."

"Well before you do all that…" he started pressing kisses down the side of her face as he wrapped his arms around her and drew her into him, "can I have a few minutes of your undivided attention Ms Pope?"

"Why of course Mr President, I do serve at your pleasure," she said with a smile on her face.

"I don't want to have to talk to him again," Mellie was basically whining into the phone.

"Mellie that can't happen and you know that," Jessica replied. "I can make a lot happen but erasing him as the father of your children… well I'm good but not _that_ good."

Mellie sighed, "I know it's just that I really need a clean break. I know it's sort of cliché but I need him to be dead to me. I can't afford to look back… **ever**." Thinking about the demise of her marriage made her heart constrict painfully in her chest but she had finally faced the truth. The truth was that they could no longer be civil to one another and that what was simply not healthy for him, her or their children.

She felt like she owed it to her son, her baby that was gone, to live the best life she could. She owed him _at least_ that much. She owed it to her other children to be a better mother although at first all she had wanted to do was join her baby.

If she was going to take life head on again she couldn't afford to have her heart and soul shredded by the toxicity that was her and Fitz together. In the 20 something years they'd been together they'd fine-tuned, honed in on the other's weaknesses and perfected the art of ripping themselves to pieces during their screaming matches or quiet monologues filled with venom.

"Mellie," Jessica started softly, appreciating the difficulty of her friend's situation but still unwilling to let her avoid the truth or the reality in front of her, "I know you don't want to but so long as you have children, you're going to have to talk to him at some point."

Mellie sighed again, "Enough Fitz time, he's sucked so much of it already." Jessica chuckled at the eye-roll Mellie had definitely displayed at that statement. "I think I want to get back into practice," she confided in her friend.

"Is that a job request?" It was Mellie's turn to chuckle at the raised eyebrow she was sure graced Jessica's face in accompaniment to her statement.

"Straight to the point, that's one of the things that I love about you Jessica Pearson," she said. "No it isn't, I really want to be nearer my parents."

"Well you could always join William and Genevieve you know it's what your dad has always wanted," Jessica replied.

"It's exactly what I was thinking, I just don't know how _they_ will feel about it especially considering how we left things after… well you know," there were some things she just couldn't bring herself to say over the phone.

"You'd be surprised what time does for raw feelings and things said in the heat of the moment," Jessica assured her. "In fact I think you should tell them about what's going on, they could be more helpful than you imagine."

"The twins would make Fitz disappear; you know William has always shared your feelings on him and it wouldn't take much for him to give Genevieve that little extra push to join your side. I think I'll hold off," she finished.

"The eternal avoider," Jessica said while shaking her head. "Has the past year taught you nothing Chimes?"

"You're really unearthing that ridiculous nickname now? Really Jessica, really?" Mellie played with the pen in her hand as a groan of frustration bubbled within her. "Okay fine I'll tell them but if my brother and sister try to assassinate the President of the United States I will blame you and only you Jessica Pearson."

"Umm seems someone needs to brush up on their law before they eat humble pie and ask for a job," Jessica chuckled at the end, Mellie joining in.

"Thanks Jessica," Mellie said when they finally stopped laughing. "I really don't know what I'd do without you."

"Don't mention it. I'll talk to you later Chimes."

"Mmm hmm, keep talking Oak," Mellie replied and they both dissolved into hysterics again as they ended the call.

_**Keep letting me know what you think. It gives me joy. **_


	3. Decision Time

**AN: So I may have lied I don't think I can stand to give these two anything but a happy ending. Thank you for letting me know what you think! Have a very Happy New Year!**

**The usual sad, sad disclaimers apply of course.**

Mellie's world narrowed to a point as she heard the words leave Fitz's mouth. _I think it would be best for the both of us if we live _**_apart_**_ I can't keep _**_pretending_**_ anymore._ This was not at all how she had intended for their conversation to go. _Oh well_ she thought and painted an indifferent look on her face _this might be even better than the truth._

"Ma'am I really think we should call the President," Anna insisted as she literally shook like a leaf. Anna had witnessed the President's fury up close and she knew she would probably suffer the brunt of it if he found out what was happening. As the First Lady's Chief of Staff he would pounce on her first for keeping him in the dark. Naturally she was scared.

"He might want to know…" she trailed off at the look she got from Mellie. She had no idea what exactly was happening between the President and the First Lady. Whatever it was didn't actually matter because the President tended to forget their problems when his wife was in danger. Anna definitely did not want to be on the receiving end of his anger when he learnt about the First Lady's condition.

Mellie had taken a trip to North Carolina both to see her family and work out some sort of plan for her future. She should have known the joy she felt wouldn't last long. She hadn't even seen the twins yet having spent all her time with her parents.

"Anna you cannot tell him," she said almost snarling the words out. "Just don't it's for the best." She shut her eyes as a wave of pain swept through her body. She wondered for the millionth time how exactly she had gotten herself into this mess.

Of course she _knew_ she just couldn't believe this was actually her life. She was simply too old for this kind of nonsense.

Just before Fitz had told her his plan, she'd discovered that she was going to be a mother again… the only problem was that she had no clue who the father was.

The President or the Vice President. She was sure this was some sick twisted game fate was playing with her as the centrepiece. For the second time in her life she was pregnant and she had no idea who the father of her child was. Quite frankly, she didn't want to know either, it definitely wouldn't solve a thing.

She and Fitz were through. She wasn't about to try to tie him to her because of a child that might not even be his. She did not need his sanctimonious tirades when she told him. It wouldn't work either; in the end he'd go back to Olivia just as he'd tried to do after Teddy was born. She absolutely did not need that kind of energy around her. This was not going to be an easy pregnancy and she wasn't going to make it any harder.

Then there was Andrew, sweet, kind Andrew… he was so sentimental but weak and she definitely could not see a real future for them. It was fun with him, he made her feel alive again like a real woman but that simply wasn't enough. She knew what she wanted and Andrew was simply… lacking. If she ever planned to run she needed a bloodhound by her side not a Chihuahua.

Fitz was seated at his desk trying to focus on the papers in front of him. Trying only because his mind kept drifting to Teddy's last visit; more specifically the end of it. Mellie had come to pick him up afterwards and she'd just seemed _off._

She'd seemed like she was hiding something… nervous. It wasn't out of the ordinary for her to be hiding something but _nervous_? Angry, scheming, vengeful even; yes, but _nervous_ no.

It just didn't make sense. He was irritated because she'd once again managed to worm her way into his thoughts despite his desire to have absolutely nothing to do with her anymore, beyond their children of course. She was no longer his concern after all he thought as he shook his head trying to rid himself of the thoughts.

_What's got her on edge like this? Is she in trouble? How could she possibly be in trouble? Maybe she's with Andrew again?_ The thought was accompanied by such a hot rush of anger in his blood that he involuntarily formed his hand into a fist crumpling the paper in his hand.

He let out a strained breath as he tried to return his elevated pulse to normal. _Why do I even care? The children_ he reminded himself, especially Karen would not be pleased if something happened to her mother. He scrubbed his hands down his face his decision made.

"Lauren!" he called. She opened the door a moment later. "I need a fresh copy of this," he said handing over the ruined paper to her.

"Yes Sir, I'll get it right away," she replied masking her surprise as efficiently as she was accustomed to doing. The President was rarely in tip top shape as he seemed to be plagued with any number of crises, which was understandable. He's the President weight of the world and such. Only he seemed more… distracted maybe tired even, lately.

"Also…" he hesitated wondering if he was overreacting or worse still meddling where he'd clearly stated and shown he didn't want to be concerned anymore; but she was still his wife. "Please check the First Lady's itinerary and find out where she is and when she'll be back."

Mellie had told him she would be leaving for North Carolina but she hadn't told him when she would be returning. She'd promised to bring Teddy over if she stayed for longer than two weeks.

He had a bad feeling and he needed to make sure she was alright. He purposely refused to think about what he would do if she was indeed with Andrew again.

Mellie had been out looking at houses, discreetly of course. There was a particular house that she'd had an eye on ever since she was a little girl. She hadn't wanted to rush though and decided to give them all a chance.

She was climbing up the stairs to the first floor of an amazing three storey house when the first sharp pain had speared through her abdomen. She grabbed onto the rail and bent over with her other hand on her stomach. She'd known with a feeling of dread, her heart heavy, what exactly was happening.

Her agents had immediately been by her side at the pained cry she let out. She'd been unable to move, the pain keeping her from moving at all. _My baby_ was all she could think as her agents half carried her to her waiting car.

She had insisted on being checked in under her maiden name. It would be much harder for the media and more importantly Fitz to find out about her situation.

"Anna would you please call my mother," she said handing over her phone. When Anna left and she was alone she turned on her side and curled up letting the tears that she had held back spring forth.

_"__I'm so sorry Ma'am, your baby, you lost your baby. We could monitor you and_" _his voice faded into the background as Mellie sank deep into her own thoughts. She should have known, she'd been spotting but she hadn't worried. It had happened in all of her other pregnancies.

She'd fully committed herself to this baby. She had been determined to get it right with this child. Jerry's death would forever inform her decisions and she could only hope to give this child all she didn't give him.

But now she'd failed. Failed to simply carry her baby, to give it life. This particular failure cut so deep because it was the culmination of her failures recently; her son's death, the end of her marriage and now the death of her unborn child.

She briefly wondered if this was her punishment for… everything; because God knew she'd done so much, hurt so many, manipulated, lied… cheated.

"What do you have for me Lauren?" Fitz asked her just as he was entering his office. He continued inside and sat behind his desk. He dropped the folder in his hands looking for the speech he was supposed to give the following day. He looked up expectantly when after a few moments Lauren still hadn't said anything.

"Sir I can't get in touch with her or her Chief of Staff," she said trying not to wring her hands. "She has deviated from her schedule for today, I'm sorry Sir but I couldn't get the First Lady on her personal cell either."

"Okay," Fitz said calmly; the calmness of his voice belying the ice that seemed to chill his veins. This was honestly one of the times he wanted to be wrong about Mellie. "Tell my agents to get ready we're moving."

"Yes Sir," she said.

"Oh Lauren," he called out to her just before she left. "We'll need a plane, I'm going to North Carolina."


	4. Facing the Truth

**AN: This just poured out, enjoy! Usual disclaimers apply**

As the private jet taxied down the runway Fitz couldn't help wondering if he was insane. He'd spent the better part of his Presidency so far trying to get away from her, get rid of her; and now she was the same woman he'd dropped everything for because he couldn't _talk_ to her. _I am losing my mind_ he thought. He briefly considered telling the pilot to turn them around but the feeling in his gut kicked in again; a sinking feeling that settled like a lead weight in his lower abdomen.

He was taking his private jet because he didn't need the endless media questions that would come with more official travel options. _Olivia_ her name popped into his mind as he remembered that he hadn't even told her he was leaving. He would just call her when he touched down.

He looked out the window and lost himself in the sky. He considered for the nearly hundredth time what he might possibly do if he found she'd simply slipped away for a little afternoon delight with Andrew; there was simply no way to describe the feeling that overcame him apart from a feral bubbling of anger that promised to explode if he saw Andrew. He knew what he'd done was rash at the best but he wasn't really that good at seriously thinking through his most spontaneous decisions.

_"What do you mean the First Lady is _indisposed?_" he asked the head of her security detail after Lauren had left the office. "I want to talk to my __**wife**__ now, so just get her on the phone," the last part almost growled out in his frustration._

As the phone call replayed in his mind Fitz couldn't help wondering what exactly was going on.

Mellie was slowly sitting up in the bed as her parents were leaving to go and check on Teddy and his cousins. They hadn't brought him mindful of the fact that he was still young and he was quite content playing with his cousins who'd been dropped off at the house. She was just about to drift off when she heard some commotion outside her room only to see Fitz's detail and then Fitz himself as he walked into her room.

"Mellie," he said softly as he got into the room. He took her hand as he reached the side of her bed and drew the back of his other hand down her face. "What's wrong?" he asked. She was stunned into silence and looked at him like he'd grown a third head.

Finally she asked him, "what are you doing here?"

"Mels what's wrong?" he asked again ignoring her question. He couldn't tell her that he'd been worried about her and just had a bad feeling. She would claim he was crazy and get full custody of the children and he wouldn't blame her; his actions made no sense at all.

He was feeling both immensely happy and immensely guilty at the same time; he was happy Andrew was nowhere in sight and guilty that he wasn't because something was clearly wrong. More than his happiness or guilt he was fearful. She looked so vulnerable on the bed with her skin so pale.

"How did you find me?" she asks when he dodges her question.

"I will always find you when I want to Mellie, you can't hide from me," he replied with an intensity in his blue gaze and voice that shook her to her core. She felt like he was… marking her; letting her know she'd never be truly free of him. She wasn't quite sure if that thought excited or scared her; Fitz could be... difficult when he was fixated on something, or even when he was simply being vindictive.

When she was confident that her voice was back she asked him again, "what are you doing here? What do you _want_ from me? It's not even been a week since we left, I promised I would bring Teddy... you don't always have to assume the worst of me you know."

"It's not important. What is important is that I'm here and there's something wrong with you… so tell me Mels, what's wrong?"

She could see the genuine concern in his eyes and she couldn't help getting her hopes up. Maybe he'd known she was in trouble, maybe he'd felt it like when she'd had a bad feeling about the gala. She quickly squashed the glimmer of hope knowing it was useless. He was most likely here about something else Teddy, Karen_

"Oh my God is Karen okay? Did something happen again? Where is she?" she felt her heartbeat speed up as she tried to get up off the bed. Fitz quickly pushed her back onto the bed and felt something tug deep in his chest that she couldn't believe he'd be here to simply see her. He also wondered if he had been conveniently editing her relationship with their children and not for the first time. Maybe she really had been the better parent, maybe_ but there was no use for _maybes _ he thought as he slightly shook his head to clear his mind.

"Karen is fine. I'm here to see you," he said slowly to her while he held her shoulders so she could focus on him. "So will you tell me what's wrong now?"

"Don't celebrate yet, it's nothing life-threatening I'll be good as new in no time," she said sarcastically, a bite to her words while she looked down at her fingers fiddling with the blanket covering her. She briefly closed her eyes and quickly tilted her head to look up at him, steeling herself as she sat up straighter.

He frowned as he replied, "don't be evasive Mellie, what happened?" He was becoming irritated with her and was wondering what could be so awful she couldn't just tell him.

"I just fainted is all," she said. There was no way she would tell him of her miscarriage now, there was literally no point and how would she explain the paternity mystery? Fitz would probably just start yelling at her and she could do without that _right _now. "It must've been all the heat, probably low blood sugar," she finished.

Fitz was sceptical. Mellie was a... strong woman to say the least and fainting spells simply weren't her thing. When she was pregnant with Karen, she'd been in labour for a full morning at work; she'd been putting the final touches on a major class action suit and had been able to keep her labour under wraps for long enough to finish the task and her voice when she called him had been eerily calm, belying the screaming that would soon follow. So Mellie_ fainting_ was simply weird. He wouldn't press her right now because she still looked unwell.

"Daddy!" he heard from behind him. When he realised Teddy wasn't with her, he'd asked for him to be brought over.

"Hey buddy," he said as he picked him up and threw him in the air which had him squealing in delight. He hugged him close when he caught him and ruffled his hair. "I missed you big guy. What have you been doing?"

"I was pwaying with Tida, Seanie and Georgie," Teddy continued to give a detailed account of the games they had played. Fitz kept glancing at Mellie not able to stop wondering what was so secret about her visit to the hospital. He wondered briefly if he should use the fact that he was still her husband to find out but just as quickly discarded the idea; he knew _when_ she found out (because she would eventually) it would spoil the harmony they seemed to be building.

"Mommy!" Teddy twisted out of his father's arms reaching for Mellie who brought him onto her lap. Fitz didn't miss the flinch of pain that flashed across her face. "How's my boy?" she asked as she ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead. He settled against her chest with his thumb in his mouth. She rubbed his back and he began to drift off to sleep clearly spent from his very full day with his cousins.

"Can you take him?" Mellie asked Fitz when Teddy was asleep. She was still in pain and even Teddy's light weight was taxing her reserves. Fitz took their sleeping son and sat down with him on the chair next to the bed.

"Mellie I deserve to know what's going on_" he stopped at the look on her face.

"_Deserve_?" She asked with narrowed eyes, feeling incensed at his ever present sense of entitlement. "Honey you don't _deserve_ to know _a thing_ about me anymore... remember that convenient little thing called a divorce that we're getting?"

Fitz was speechless _as usual_; he would never admit it but the quiet truths that she spoke to him were the ones that seared through his soul. He could only look at her and feel the slightest twinge somewhere in his chest that he refused to term regret but knew in his heart of hearts was exactly that.

Mellie looked at him and sighed realising this was not the time for an argument. "Fitz I'll be okay, like I said it's not life threatening. If there is ever something truly wrong with me I will let you know but when we're divorced my personal problems, health or otherwise will be just that," she felt a heavy weight in her heart as the full implications of their divorce began to sink in.

They were both silent as they watched Teddy sleep peacefully, the end of their marriage was becoming more and more real and it hurt more than either could have ever imagined before; they had always been great partners in life and the realisation that that was over was more than they were truly prepared for.


End file.
